Boy, ya poke at the ant nest and there's so much stuff that comes out [View all]

I both hate and love my job. I work in a NICU with mostly preterm and not too sick babies and their new parents, that's the love. Then there are my coworkers, who's faults are endless and tend to be the part the contributes to the not love. Not all of them, but quite a few.

I realized a few hours ago that my job is going to be such fertile ground for my recovery. See, just because the addict brought my problem into high relief in a mere 3 months, it didn't take me only three months to go batshit crazy - because I wasn't practicing my program for, uh, about 10 years, some bad habits sneaked back in. For instance, I'm just starting my inventory and I realized that I've been doing inventories for years, but on other people, like my coworkers.

I'm going to have a lot to change at work, not necessarily because anything outside of me will change, though it might, but because I'm going to have far fewer inventories to conduct. Actually, counting them up, I would say it comes to one - mine. Gossip is a favorite past time there and I haven't refrained. But I'm going to now. That's as close as I'm going to get to a New Years Resolution since those are supposed to last a year and I'm committing to today.

I'm hoping and asking my higher power to hang a little closer to me at work so she and I can take a fearless inventory of me. Besides, I feel safer and more grounded when she's nearby. I cannot for the life of me figure what might have made me think sticking her in the back closet was ever a good idea?