Addiction & Recovery

which would help her understand why trying to control an alcoholic's drinking or recovery never never never works.
So driving him to AA meetings is wayyyy off the mark.

Her therapist is a good step, but most therapists have no understanding of the family dynamics of alcoholism.

I heartily recommend a great book called "Co-dependent No More" by Melody Beattie, for the wife.
http://www.amazon.com/Codependent-No-More-Controlling-Yourself/dp/0894864025

Her focus needs to be on HER, not on trying to manage HIS disease.

The very first thing I have heard over the years from family members when I have suggested Al-Anon to them is
" But what about HIS/HER drinking? What do I do about THAT?"
Which shows that it takes awhile until the family member can really "get" the idea they have no control over someone's drinking.
But they can learn to control their reaction to it in postive and healthy functional ways, and I do believe firmly that Al-Anon is a very important part of that learning.