Well, it's stage three [View all]

breast cancer this time, and I'm going nuts again with the waiting. I finally got the biopsy, no surprises there, the radiologist pretty much told me it was bad, and now I need to have a PET scan to see if there's cancer elsewhere in my body before we can schedule surgery and plan any further treatment.

But to get a PET scan you have to have prior authorization from your insurance company, and that's taking forever. "But I have the Gold Medicare plan!" I yelled at my surgeon. Apparently not a factor.

I'm going to have a mastectomy (lumpectomy last time) without reconstruction. I am an old lady with floppy old lady breasts, and I just can't feature one floppy old lady breast and one pert teenage breast, so reconstruction is out. Plus I don't like the idea of implanted anything.

That's the only decision I've been able to make though, until I get this scan. I didn't know that I would not be able to have radiation (of the breast; if it's elsewhere, that's another story) a second time, and there's apparently a limit on how much more chemo I can have, too. Last time I had four doses; this time I may be able to have more, but that will depend on the oncologist, who of course I don't see until I have the fucking scan.

I think the thing that's scary to me is the fact that I had a clear mammogram in February, and this rather large mass showed up in early September. I feel a little invaded.