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Mental Health Support

Historic NY

(38,007 posts)

22. What was lost, or what could have been...

Reply to hamsterjill (Reply #17)

Mon Mar 8, 2021, 11:27 AM

Mar 2021

hey we had people in our lives neighbors and relatives....both of us had jobs until we retired due to injuries. I put myself through college and grad school, we saved our money and bought cars, etc. Community service, Fire - EMS played a big part. I think we both found being involved in the community was a substitute. I still have an official appointed job and serve on some boards. When my brother passed 4 yrs ago the measure of his accomplishment was in the people from far & wife that showed up. One of our old timer friends said he'd never seen anything like that. Life goes on, places are missing at the table, we reflect, laugh, but remember.

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Are there any other DU'ers here who lost a parent (death) in childhood? [View all] hamsterjill Mar 2021 OP

Lost my mother at age 2. Laelth Mar 2021 #1

This is the first time I've talked about it here, too. hamsterjill Mar 2021 #3

It is what it is. I know nothing different. Laelth Mar 2021 #6

Thank you. hamsterjill Mar 2021 #8

Kind of you to offer. Laelth Mar 2021 #10

I went the other direction. hamsterjill Mar 2021 #15

My two stepchildren lost their mother. A child psychologist told my husband their grades wouldn't Karadeniz Mar 2021 #2

Did the psychologist say why specifically math hamsterjill Mar 2021 #5

Math requires abstract thinking. Karadeniz Mar 2021 #28

Yes. It was the single most impactful event in my life Sanity Claws Mar 2021 #4

Yes. This. hamsterjill Mar 2021 #7

Children lack rational filters SheltieLover Mar 2021 #29

Not exactly childhood, but my father died of cancer when I was in high school. I can't say... TreasonousBastard Mar 2021 #9

I don't think it's laying blame. hamsterjill Mar 2021 #16

"Blame" might not be the best word. As with you, it's more a question of understanding. But... TreasonousBastard Mar 2021 #26

Understood. hamsterjill Mar 2021 #27

Both parents by age 12. Historic NY Mar 2021 #11

That sounds awful. hamsterjill Mar 2021 #17

What was lost, or what could have been... Historic NY Mar 2021 #22

The fact you had a twin and he had you likely gave you both a combined strength you wouldn't have No Vested Interest Mar 2021 #30

My mother died of cancer when I was 7. elleng Mar 2021 #12

My father lived to be 95 and remarried 5 years after my mother's death hamsterjill Mar 2021 #13

Sorry to hear that, my adopted-mother was terrific, elleng Mar 2021 #18

Good. I'm glad you had a stabilizing force. hamsterjill Mar 2021 #20

If we don't count teens Laurelin Mar 2021 #14

You're not a wimp! hamsterjill Mar 2021 #19

I was not as young as my sister who was 8, I was 17 but I have had lots of abandonment issues redstatebluegirl Mar 2021 #21

It pops up more for me during stressful times. hamsterjill Mar 2021 #23

My Dad died suddenly when I was 11 IbogaProject Mar 2021 #24

Sounds like your mom was great. hamsterjill Mar 2021 #25

"The Inner World of Trauma" is an exceptiomal book SheltieLover Mar 2021 #31

Thanks. hamsterjill Mar 2021 #32