After COVID-19, a fear of touching things [View all]

Due to COVID, I have developed a strong, irrational fear of touching stuff.

Background: Mild depression (easy to handle) and undiagnosed fear of being around people. I live alone and am retired (I retired from teaching because of COVID). Outside of aspirin and wine, I don't take any medicine. I am, however, fully vaccinated with the Pfizer vaccine.

When COVID became a thing last year, I followed the advice I read and saw and disinfected everything delivered. I never went to stores. Except for perishables, all delivered items went into a closed off porch room for a week. When I went somewhere, I would wipe down my car, leave my shoes on the mat, disinfect everything in my pockets, throw my clothes in the washing machine, throw my mask in a designated sink, and take a hot, very soapy shower. I would disinfect my hands between each of those steps, and remember what I touched from door to shower so I could disinfect later.

I know from my reading that scientists have found that all that crap isn't necessary. I also know I'm fully vaccinated. But I still can't stop my annoying deep cleansing and fear of touching stuff. Even after I go take the garbage out, I do the shoes, clothes, shower, disinfect thing. If I don't, I feel creepy.

I know it's a bullshit thing. But it's hard to stop. I don't want to pay for counseling if I can help it. I'm sure a counselor would direct me to engage in small steps to break the habit, something like exposure and response prevention for OCD. And I'm trying. Today, I opened and ate some just delivered food without cleaning it or microwaving...something I would never do previously. I was very uncomfortable, but baby steps.

Has this happened with anybody else, or is it just me? And I am open to any advice you all may have.

Thanks!