Mental Health Support

And you don't have to play their game. They, especially your mother, keep changing the rules. For your own sanity I think you have to go no contact and keep no contact. It's okay to love them, they are your family, but you don't have to LIKE them. There is definitely something wrong with your mother and she in turn seems to have infected the rest of her household. You long ago discharged any familial responsibility to them. Like in War Games, the only way you can win the game is to not play. Continued contact with your family is having serious effect on your well being. I know you want your mother's love, but she is damaged and incapable of giving a real mother's love so you have to care for your own nuclear family and the good friends you let in.

You are lucky in that your mother's inability to give love has not permanently damaged you, as I can tell you are a good and caring person,but you have to take care of yourself for your own family's sake. Despite all this Christmas schmaltzy stuff with getting together with your family, some families are best left out of your life.