Mental Health Support

have you ever been diagnosed with a specific condition, Bipolar, Major Depression, etc? It sounds like it from your last sentance on "serious meds". Your description sounds a little like some form of Bipolar.

My main issue is suppose, among a grab bag of other competing self esteem and emotional problems, is that I can't come to terms with the world. It's the old inability to accept the roll of Sisyphus we have all been given. I'm HORRIBLE at dealing with stress and every little stressor cause me to go into anxiety and depression overdrive. On top of this I have social phobia. I can't face having to go out and face the world every day, I just want to wall myself off in a comfortable hole somewhere the rest of my life. I dream of being a hermit somewhere. Yet paradoxically I crave attention and friendship.

I've been on several different medications and seen a therapist and psychiatrist without too much effect. I should probably continue to try.