I'm an adoptee who tested on 23&Me and Ancestry. I had a 1c1r from each side and am now in an on going reunion. I've built a rather extensive tree, spoken with quite a few close and distant family members and am in a few DNA genealogy groups on FB BUT when I first started and got my first 'who are you' letter I froze up a bit. I wasn't sure how to reply since I didn't know but didn't want to scare off someone who might be able and willing to help me find my 'puzzle pieces'. If didn't have my eldest daughter nudging and helping me it probably would have been days before I replied. 
Anyway, I can also tell you from experience and comments in the groups in FB that Ancestry's communication can be glitchy. There are two buttons you can click to contact a match, a green one and a brown one... If you used the green try the brown after giving her a bit more time to digest what might be a surprise to her as well.
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