On December 11, 2017, we lost our dear dog Mocha. Yesterday, Dec 11 2024, we had to say goodbye to Koda. [View all]

I simply couldn't do this post yesterday. In our 44 year marriage, my wife and I have been owned by Heidi (German Shepherd, my wife's when we were dating then married), Zoe (black lab mix rescue), who we then overlapped with Buddy (chocolate lab rescue) and Mocha (chocolate lab we got as a puppy). We lost Zoe, then Buddy, then Mocha - all at old ages - all hurt like hell, but we got a full life with them. We waited 6 months (that was the soonest I could even possibly start the dog searching process) and my wife found Koda as a desperate rescue option. He joined us in mid 2018 - we then got Marlin, a yellow lab rescue the following year, and Betts, a feist type rescue a few years ago. Once again we were a happy pack of 3 dogs and 2 humans.

But Koda suddenly couldn't do the play bow - then a few weeks ago showed signs of pain - hesitancy to lay down, pacing, staring. The first visit to the vet indicated a possible issue with her neck vertebrae (X Ray indicated) - he went onto Rimadyl, which didn't do a heck of a lot. Two days ago we noted he got far worse - refused his afternoon treat - and yesterday morning for the first time refused his food.

We got an early appointment - a repeat X Ray showed what was much smaller two weeks ago and was missed - an osteosarcoma in his neck area essentially on his spine. Prognosis was not good at all and we made the painful decision to say goodbye then and there. We got to sit with him as he left us, and we've been in shock since - we were not ready. Where Mocha seemed to be my special dog, Koda was my wife's. Their bond was indescribable. In fact, Koda was in such bad shape when we adopted him he bonded so closely with my wife that it took a year for him to feel comfortable with me. I was patient, and it was so, so worth it. Koda is the first dog we've lost due to an illness, way too soon. We've been lucky. Falling in love with a dog, having your heart broken when they leave, is simply one of the most worthwhile acts that can be done. The pain is worth the joy.

I am working on a blog entry with pictures to get down our way too short journey with Koda. This is all I can say right now - I for some reason am having an issue seeing the words I am typing.

Here is the blog I wrote for our Mocha. https://www.craiglehoullier.com/blog1/2017/12/10/today-we-had-to-say-goodbye-to-our-dear-dog-mocha

I will have a similar one done for Koda soon.

I don't like December 11 at all.