Gun Control & RKBA

Usually my first question to someone asking about defensive firearms is 'are you really prepared to use it.' Since you have already had the unfortunate requirement to use deadly force that is answered. You have my condolences. Causing the loss of another's life is not taken casually and always extracts a cost. Know that what you feel is just an indication that you are a compassionate human who was pushed into a situation outside your true nature.

As to what is the best gun- that opens the door to the biggest, most contentious argument among guns owners. The short answer that everyone agrees on is it is 'the gun you can shoot accurately and will operate flawlessly every time."

Now to less clear considerations:

-caliber- you want to stop your assailant as soon as possible (wounded or dead is irrelevant, when they stop, you stop shooting)
No gun is magic and all pistols are poor, despite what many amateurs and even experts may claim. If one caliber was best, we wouldn't have the plethora we do. Usually bigger calibers stop better but at the price of greater recoil (.357 mag is great but it can be like firing a cannon to a novice). .38 is the absolute smallest I would recommend, .45 is the "best" (by a very small amount)
9mm is a good compromise and is my choice for my HD pistol. Use quality, factory load hollow point- they are expensive but will stop an assailant faster and have less issue with over-penetration, which endangers others.
(PURE PERSONAL OPINION> stay away from .40. It gives you the recoil of .45 and the stopping power of 9mm)

-size- {I will take a moment to allow you to insert a joke} OK, since you indicate this is for home defense, not carry- go with a full size pistol (unless grip is an issue). They are more accurate and give easier control of recoil. Also they will typically hold more rounds (if the fecal material has really hit the oscillator)

-grip- this is related to size. It is important that the gun feels good in your hand. Women typically have smaller hands whereas men have larger. Since this is for both you and you husband, it must feel good to both. You may have to consider a compact size or a 9mm instead of a .45 so it feels good to both of you.

-action- a revolver is like a kodak- point and shoot; a semi-auto is a 35mm- better result in the hands of someone who is familiar with it. If you will practice regularly, the semi-auto will serve you better. Practice immediate action drills. Semi-autos jam very rarely but Mr. Murphy visits at the most inopportune times


Secondary considerations- training, liability insurance, storage options... give thought to them as well.

So what do I recommend?
-I am not a Glock fan. They have a rep of negligent discharges if you handle them casually (which should never happen but humans are flawed creatures). I do have friends who swear by them and they are popular with law enforcement

-Springfield makes quality pistols. I have fired several and been impressed, though not enough to purchase one.

-Sig has outstanding firearms, though rougher on the wallet. I keep a P226 in a biometric safe for home defense, though many find it too large of a pistol to handle comfortably

-Ruger is an oft overlooked choice. Usually ~$100 less than a Glock, they are functional, not "sexy". That said the are reliable, accurate and have the same safety features as Glocks, only better. (the loaded indicator is massive, easy to see or feel if it is too dark to see)

-Smith and Wesson- I only have personal experience with their revolvers- all good.

-Taurus- easy(er) on the wallet. They have a poor quality reputation but I have yet to meet someone in person who has had issue. Everyone I talk to is pleased with their choice.

Handle some pistols at the counter to eliminate ones they you don't like (insist the shop follows proper safety procedures- there have been instances where somehow a loaded gun ended up on display). Once you have narrowed it down, see about renting your choices at a range to make the best choice for you.