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...could use this story to have a field day explaining that the CHRONICLE HERALD is seriously challenged in the ability to write/report news with detail and accuracy.
Following are tips on writing a compelling and gripping news report.
Facts: The facts will answer the: who, what, when, where, why, and how of the news event. A writer has a responsibility to make sure his facts are accurate. If you have to write a report before you get all the facts, then say that in the report.
Style: When writing a news report, use the active voice. The active voice is more understandable and has more impact. Make short, concise sentences with action verbs. Your language needs to be simple and not have extra words that don’t really contribute to the focus of the story. For example, the weather or how someone is dressed doesn’t need to be included unless it has a bearing on the overall story. While you are writing, try to anticipate any questions a reader might have while reading your story.
Facts: The facts will answer the: who, what, when, where, why, and how of the news event. A writer has a responsibility to make sure his facts are accurate. If you have to write a report before you get all the facts, then say that in the report.
Style: When writing a news report, use the active voice. The active voice is more understandable and has more impact. Make short, concise sentences with action verbs. Your language needs to be simple and not have extra words that don’t really contribute to the focus of the story. For example, the weather or how someone is dressed doesn’t need to be included unless it has a bearing on the overall story. While you are writing, try to anticipate any questions a reader might have while reading your story.
This article fails the very first primary, the who. Neither the assailants nor the victims are identified. Nor are they specified as unidentified. "Kyle Earl Munroe" is named but not described as either victim or assailant. Failing to anticipate a reader's questions and failing to reread and edit a story to remove ambiguity and occasions for inference rather a report of fact seem like basics to me.
IMHO, not where I would choose to spend my advertising dollar.
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