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Seniors

In reply to the discussion: Are You Lonesome Tonight? [View all]

Crewleader

(17,005 posts)
1. RAMBLINGS OF A RETIRED MIND
Wed Sep 3, 2014, 03:12 PM
Sep 2014
RAMBLINGS OF A RETIRED MIND


I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one so I'm wearing my garage door opener.


You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.


I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!


I was thinking about old age and decided that it is when you still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.


I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and call it "Pumping Rust."


I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease; that's when your chest is falling into your drawers!


You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I wanted to say, "No, it's for company!"


Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"


Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?


I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me. They were cramming for their finals.


As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve."

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

Are You Lonesome Tonight? [View all] Crewleader Sep 2014 OP
RAMBLINGS OF A RETIRED MIND Crewleader Sep 2014 #1
Loved these posts. As a Senior, I can relate. Paper Roses Sep 2014 #2
Here's another for you my friend. Crewleader Sep 2014 #4
AOTA* trof Sep 2014 #3
And for you my friend Crewleader Sep 2014 #5
Well, crewleader, you're a card. I'll be on the lookout No Vested Interest Sep 2014 #6
Hey my Catholic friend, here's one for you! Crewleader Sep 2014 #7
Ah, yes, I bet Jesus' mama came through for him. No Vested Interest Sep 2014 #8
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