OMG... Damon... (NSFW) [View all]
I think this is the most brutal three paragraphs I've ever read in my life, and so of course it is about David Brooks.
https://verysmartbrothas.theroot.com/white-people-are-boring-1835949427
Soggy toilet paper sheet repurposed as a mesh romper for bougie chipmunks David Brooks emerged from his seltzer waterbed today to warn us that the Democrats will definitely lose the Presidential election if we dont remember to be as damp as he is. He is maybe not wrongperhaps a can of La Croix might have the best chance of beating Trumpbut thats not the point. Its that the journey to this truth is rooted in an aggressively milquetoast spinelessness. Its a flinch at a punch that hasnt even been faked.
Also, I probably should share something with you: I didnt read his column. I mean, I skimmed the first few paragraphs, but each time I tried reading further, Id bang my head on my keyboard. Not out of frustrationalthough that works toobut because I kept falling asleep. Finishing that ode to relentless flaccidity was like watching paint fuck, and I dont know what happened after graf five, but now my forehead is bleeding.
He has to know how boring he is, right? And not just his words, and his punctuation, and his glasses, but the ecosystem of vapidity behind them, right? And Im not asking this to try to boring-shame him, because Im boring as fuck! I spent Saturday night reading two-year-old AV Club recaps of Big Little Lies! (And the comments!) I am thoroughly and inextricably boring! But the sort of boring that plagues David Brooks and much of his white brethren is literally a plague. Can you imagine being so aroused by and impressed with the status quo that you dip your brain and your dick in a vat of milk to appease it? Not only is that weird as fuck, but its not fair to the milk!