In recent years I've attended Mile Hi in Denver, Bubonicon in Albuquerque (and yes, it means what you think it means), COSine in Colorado Springs. Also two other small things, not properly cons at all: the Jack Williamson Lectureship in Portales, and the Campbell Conference in Lawrence, KS, which I believe has been renamed to something like the Gunn Conference, after James Gunn, the amazing and wonderful writer, mentor, teacher.
However, small is not always better. In 2019 I went to SoonerCon in Norman, OK (and I truly hope you get the theme of conference naming by this time). It's noticeably larger than any of my other cons. Because of being larger, they had more programming, more tracks, more dealers, more artists, and so on. But it was not one of the huge mega-conferences.
I will add this. I find the science fiction world to be very friendly, and the cons to be even more so. My one and so far only attendance at SoonerCon I was totally blown away by the friendliness there. Above and beyond what I was used to. Fantastic. Because it is somewhat larger, they have more and more varied programming tracks than I'd been used to.
One of the things I've loved about attending the cons is that I've become friends with any number of well-known authors. Oh, my.
My sister, who is not normally a science fiction person, is planning to attend this year with me. I really think she will find lots of fascinating things there. If she doesn't, oh well, she has her car and can go somewhere else. But I rather expect she will have no trouble finding interesting things to do at SoonerCon.
Something to keep in mind: certain kinds of cons, most specifically the ones connected to the media and that attract big name players (you get to pay $20.00 for an autograph) are a completely different kind of con. The ones I go to are not remotely like that. The cost of attending is perhaps $50.00, and aside from hotel or meals, cost nothing else. I do understand that the big media based cons have their place. It's just that I choose not to go there.