Automobile Enthusiasts

I've had cars a lot worse than this. The battery is almost certainly beneath the cover just forward of the right wheel well, beneath the fuse block. Depending on how the cover is attached you will either need a phillips or straight screwdriver or a small socket (guessing 8 mm).

It is easy to see why this is a pain for you, not your car, a mile and a half away from an electrical outlet even if you did have a charger, and if you can get the cover off you'll need to find a set of jumper cables and someone to help. Depending on whether you have some wire laying around and another vehicle available you may be able to run a few amps into the dead battery for an hour or so through a bridged connection. It is best not to discuss that here so pm me and I'll try to help with some back-yard tricks.