https://www.vogue.com/article/catholic-church-abuse-scandal-mary-beth-keane-painful-choice

“I didn’t realize you were still practicing,” a friend said to me not long ago, when I mentioned having to drive Emmett to religion class. It’s true that I’m not quiet about my frustrations with the Church. But that’s part of being Catholic, especially in recent years: exchanging complaints about the lack of progress, the treatment of women, gays, divorcées. Really, the requisite reiteration of how appalling, disgusting, and heartbreaking the revelations have been dates back to 2002, when The Boston Globe broke its story of the widespread sexual-abuse crisis in the Boston Archdiocese. For years, Catholics have been saying that hopefully the institution is finally taking a hard look at itself. And then, typically, the conversation moves on to CYO basketball or the potholes in the church parking lot. There isn’t a Catholic I’ve met who doesn’t have at least one major criticism, who doesn’t leave some rules aside while following others. The important part seems to be that we count ourselves among the tribe.

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And I realized: It’s simply no longer possible to be a casual Catholic in the way I used to imagine myself. Probably it was never possible. To be in this Church, even in a small way, is to be party to abuse. I can’t solve the Church’s problems, obviously. Likely, no one can. But I can do the one thing within my power: leave and take my children with me. Maybe if more leave, and those pews (and coffers) are finally empty, then the Church will do a more sincere self-examination.