Religion

they won't be around to check up on you. If a person doesn't want a religious service or a particular kind of religious service there shouldn't be one. If they do, there should be. If they didn't leave instructions or didn't seem to care one way or the other, hold a service that will offer the most comfort to the family. My dad wasn't especially religious but he wasn't anti-religious, either; we went to a Congregational church (now UCC) when we were kids but my parents' church attendance fell off as they got older. When my mom died we had a memorial service in the UCC church we'd attended years ago because she was always sort of fond of it. When dad died at 92 we had a memorial service conducted by a Lutheran pastor at the Lutheran-sponsored retirement home he was living in - because a Christian service was meaningful to his friends at the home and not offensive to us, and we were sure dad wouldn't have minded. He left no specific instructions, which of course we'd have followed if he had. The issue isn't whether a religious funeral or memorial should or should not be held - it's about respect for the beliefs and instructions of the deceased and their family.