Religion

I read it at a time when I was questioning my religious beliefs. It did nothing to answer the questions I was having. It was recommended to me, at a time when I was also considering taking advantage of a free-ride scholarship to Wheaton College, sponsored by the church I attended. I was a Junior in high school, and spent many, many hours each week within the walls of that church. I sang in two choirs there and helped maintain the church's pipe organ, which I had helped to install as an unpaid intern for the organ builder. I was a nice, young, Christian high school boy.

Why did the deacons of that church decide to offer to completely pay my way to a theological college? Because they thought I would make a good pastor. That's why. Someone recommended "Mere Christianity" to me, so I read it. Shortly thereafter, I politely declined the scholarship offer. In some ways C. S. Lewis was responsible, in part, for my decision not to go in that direction. I was 16 years old, and was beginning to look at Christianity from a different perspective. I had lots of questions. I talked at length with the pastor of that church about those questions, which were mostly theological in nature.

So, I went another direction with my life. Within a couple of years, after much reading and many discussions with ministers and the like, I found that I could no longer believe in deities at all. I read all of the books that were recommended to me. I read books on other religions. I read the Quran and the Upanishads, along with commentaries on those, as well. At the same time, I was voraciously reading in the sciences, and had advanced to reading college-level texts on several of them. I was considering a possible career as a doctor at the time. I ended up being an atheist during the year between 18 and 19 years of age. Not a whim. Not a youthful fancy. I don't work that way at all. It was a fully reasoned decision. I simply was no longer able to believe.

I didn't become a doctor, either. Instead, I dropped out of college in my sophomore year, where I was studying electronics engineering. After six months of wandering around the country on my own, I was still uncertain about where my life should go. I had been to Selma, Alabama to see Dr. King. I had been in about 40 states, meeting people and talking with them. But, I still didn't know what I would do. So, I joined the Air Force for four years.

They sent me to Syracuse University and a total immersion 24/7 Russian language school for a year, and then had me doing things related to that for the rest of my enlistment. After that, I was finally an adult at 24, ready to do something. So, I went back to college, using the GI Bill to get my BA in English, followed by a year of graduate school. What I had decided was to polish my writing skills so I could make my living by learning things and writing about what I had learned.

My career ended up with me being a perpetual student and supporting myself by sharing what I learned in writing. It worked out very well for me. It has been interesting, engaging, and I've been of some use to others. All in all, a very satisfactory life. I'm still learning. I'm still reading voraciously. I'm still writing, and will continue doing those things until I drop dead one day.

So, it's not that I didn't like religion and was predisposed to disagree. It's that I found C. S. Lewis's apologetics circular and unsatisfying, as I said earlier. I disagreed with his reasoning because I disagreed with his reasoning.

And now, guillaumeb will probably say that I have once again merely posted a personal anecdote. And he will be correct. That's what I do. I learn and I write.