Astrology, Spirituality & Alternative Healing

OneGrassRoot

(23,545 posts)

1. What I appreciated the most...

Reply to freeplessinseattle (Original post)

Sat Dec 31, 2011, 01:09 PM

Dec 2011

when I lost my son, who was stillborn, is when people didn't try to offer words of wisdom.

As you said, it's too easy for words with good intention to be taken differently than intended, given the frame of mind and being consumed with grief.

When people would simply say (or write) that they're there when/if I need them, that was sufficient.

All the books and advice to join support groups and insights into why "God" took him so soon did nothing but agitate me at the time, to be honest. I wasn't religious at the time (nor am I now), but even well-meaning spiritual messages sent to me didn't sit well.

My advice is to simply tell/show her you're there for her, and not even try to say the right thing as far as advice or wisdom.

I'm very sorry for her pain and the loss.

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My friend's young daughter passed away from leukemia recently and she is mad at God [View all] freeplessinseattle Dec 2011 OP

What I appreciated the most... OneGrassRoot Dec 2011 #1

I do get that, but simply remaining silent while she is pouring her heart out freeplessinseattle Dec 2011 #2

I don't have insight about the religious aspect... OneGrassRoot Dec 2011 #4

Thank you, it does help to know that simply being silent isn't necessarily freeplessinseattle Dec 2011 #9

Comforting doesn't necessarily mean advice-giving Remember Me Dec 2011 #15

i'm of the same mind as OGR. Howler Dec 2011 #3

Thank you. I guess i just feel that if I remain silent freeplessinseattle Dec 2011 #6

maybe she feels more comfortable telling you that WolverineDG Dec 2011 #12

Whoa ! Whoa! Whoa! Howler Dec 2011 #19

I agree with OGR and Howler Tumbulu Dec 2011 #5

Thank you, that is a good idea, I will ponder on some ideas freeplessinseattle Dec 2011 #7

Perhaps ask what she needs and listen Matariki Dec 2011 #8

she says she wants to try to process things but doesn't know how freeplessinseattle Dec 2011 #10

Yeah, that's really really tough Matariki Dec 2011 #13

Thank you Matariki! and get this, her daughter was signed up for a promising study freeplessinseattle Dec 2011 #16

Probably the worst thing given to my dad & me when my mom died was WolverineDG Dec 2011 #11

After my dad died when I was a kid rosesaylavee Dec 2011 #14

Be her friend. BlueToTheBone Dec 2011 #17

Grieving PADemD Dec 2011 #18

You know Freepless, I'm dealing with cancer as we speak and I just got home from watching Ecumenist Jan 2012 #20

I'm so sorry to hear that. Cleita Jan 2012 #22

Thank you Cleita!! Ecumenist Jan 2012 #25

what ecumenist said magical thyme Jan 2012 #23

If you stop believing in God, then there is no one to blame would be a cynic's answer. Cleita Jan 2012 #21

Well Said, Cleita! Ecumenist Jan 2012 #24

Here's my two cents. SheilaT Jan 2012 #26