Astrology, Spirituality & Alternative Healing

OneGrassRoot

(23,545 posts)

4. I don't have insight about the religious aspect...

Sat Dec 31, 2011, 01:41 PM

Dec 2011

hopefully she can gain comfort but I wouldn't have a clue what you could say, since you aren't of the same faith, to help in this regard.

Maybe others can offer suggestions since you feel perhaps tapping into her faith may be a way for you to offer comfort and open discussion.

As to the first part of your reply and you not understanding how to comfort, and that you feel saying the same thing over and over again feels lame, unless she is specifically asking you for your help or advice or your thoughts, it's my experience that the less said, the better.

(Not just from my personal experience shared above, but in dealing with others in the throes of grief.)

Being honest about not knowing what to say is fine. Saying, "I'm so sorry for your pain" repeatedly is fine, too. Being silent and hugging (if you're in person) is fine.

I just fear that trying hard to find the perfect thing to say to anyone in the midst of grieving is a huge task for anyone, and it can cause more harm than good.

All of that is simply my personal opinion, of course.

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My friend's young daughter passed away from leukemia recently and she is mad at God [View all] freeplessinseattle Dec 2011 OP

What I appreciated the most... OneGrassRoot Dec 2011 #1

I do get that, but simply remaining silent while she is pouring her heart out freeplessinseattle Dec 2011 #2

I don't have insight about the religious aspect... OneGrassRoot Dec 2011 #4

Thank you, it does help to know that simply being silent isn't necessarily freeplessinseattle Dec 2011 #9

Comforting doesn't necessarily mean advice-giving Remember Me Dec 2011 #15

i'm of the same mind as OGR. Howler Dec 2011 #3

Thank you. I guess i just feel that if I remain silent freeplessinseattle Dec 2011 #6

maybe she feels more comfortable telling you that WolverineDG Dec 2011 #12

Whoa ! Whoa! Whoa! Howler Dec 2011 #19

I agree with OGR and Howler Tumbulu Dec 2011 #5

Thank you, that is a good idea, I will ponder on some ideas freeplessinseattle Dec 2011 #7

Perhaps ask what she needs and listen Matariki Dec 2011 #8

she says she wants to try to process things but doesn't know how freeplessinseattle Dec 2011 #10

Yeah, that's really really tough Matariki Dec 2011 #13

Thank you Matariki! and get this, her daughter was signed up for a promising study freeplessinseattle Dec 2011 #16

Probably the worst thing given to my dad & me when my mom died was WolverineDG Dec 2011 #11

After my dad died when I was a kid rosesaylavee Dec 2011 #14

Be her friend. BlueToTheBone Dec 2011 #17

Grieving PADemD Dec 2011 #18

You know Freepless, I'm dealing with cancer as we speak and I just got home from watching Ecumenist Jan 2012 #20

I'm so sorry to hear that. Cleita Jan 2012 #22

Thank you Cleita!! Ecumenist Jan 2012 #25

what ecumenist said magical thyme Jan 2012 #23

If you stop believing in God, then there is no one to blame would be a cynic's answer. Cleita Jan 2012 #21

Well Said, Cleita! Ecumenist Jan 2012 #24

Here's my two cents. SheilaT Jan 2012 #26