(Jewish Group) I want to share a few personal things on my anniversary. [View all]

At this point, I like more than a few of you in this group, especially after a number of personal conversations, aren't feeling welcomed, respected, or appreciated, and that is at the good end of the spectrum! I don't even feel comfortable in my other identity here, being gay. That has really been disturbing to me. The level of vitriol and disrespect has made me withdraw, because I feel, "what's the point anymore?" However, I have found the shared experience above with others, has grounded me in a way and so I wanted to share something important, that under normal circumstances, I would have likely posted in GD or The Lounge. So...

On April 4th, I celebrated TEN YEARS of not smoking! Me! After smoking for almost 20 years, the last few years, very heavily, 2 packs, sometimes, 3 packs a day. I quit! It was not a happy time for me, but I managed to get through. I also set up an account that I put in the money I would have spent on cigarettes. By year's end, I had an account that was worth about $2100!! I put it in the "Holiday Account", so that year, many of my family and friends had a very good Christmas, Chanukkah, and Kwanza. So did I.

Ten years ago, I lost my beloved cat, Tony. It happened just 3 months after I quit. I can tell you, I struggled...HARD...not to slip, and I passed. Ten years ago, come November, I changed my status from "domestic partner" to "husband"! While elated, that too was stressful.

It wasn't easy for me. I started smoking, not "real" smoking, around 16. By the time I reached college, I was a regular smoker, though it was less than a pack a day. By grad school, four years later, I was a pack and a half smoker, then two packs by the time I graduated. I moved to two packs and more a few years later. I lacked some quirks that other smokers had; I smoked less when I drank and I never smoked when I was really bored. I did, like so many others, pick up "habitual ritual" smoking; soon as I got in a car; I lit up! As soon as I was on the phone, I lit up. When I had phone calls when I couldn't smoke, I got overly anxious, and on a few occasions had anxiety episodes, at least two blew up into full panic attacks.

If you are thinking of quitting, I support you and however you do it or however long it takes. No judgement! If you, like me, have also quit, come celebrate. Share your story.

TEN YEARS! Who knows how much time I gave myself to be with my husband, my family, my friends, and my cadre of Chihuahuas!