Atheists & Agnostics

Last edited Sun May 24, 2015, 10:28 AM - Edit history (3)

BEHOLD: DUMBFUCKERY ! The new language to explain sin.

You see, Esperanto didn't work out too well so I am out to save the church.

Definitions so far:

Buggery. Sexual activity that applies to male on female unwanted or unsolicited sexual advances or assault.

Legitimate Buggery:
Sexual advances that apply to priest on male children.

Legitimate Buggery With Absolution: This is when your parish priest suddenly is called on a special mission to do God's work and you never hear from him again.

Extreme Ordination, with Power to Absolve: This is when your Bishop or Cardinal has his discerning Power to Absolve recognized and is rewarded by being called to Rome to be appointed a diplomat with immunity and given the title of Accountant of Usage of Holy Toilet Paper. These appointments increase in direct proportion to the amount of money in the diocese that can be adjudicated by the courts from the diocese to those who were buggered.


Misplaced Buggery:
Sexual advances that apply to priest on female subjects.

Bugger-all: Priests' normal reaction to being horny.

Sin: Only two I can think of...
1. Not putting money in the collection basket.
2. Sexual activity involving male on male actions, unless one of the participants is a priest.

Legitimate sexual congress while married:
For this, I defer to the orthodox Jewish practice of having bed sheets, with a hole cut out, approximate 3 feet from the top of the sheet an 2 feet from the left side of the sheet. This separates the legitimate sex for procreation as opposed to the sinful act of sex in response to lustful thoughts.


D.U.rs, I need help with this. We have to get the laity's mind right with the church. Income is declining, year after year.


Yes, for those who failed interpretive reading in the 9th. grade, it is sarcasm.