Bereavement

i know we don't get to know why. my theory is that after we die we still don't know but it no longer torments us. After she had been dead for some period of time, when the question Why Bekah? bubbled up, sometimes I just told myself, Why not her? It was random. Something that would never happen, happened, and we lost her just like that, never to see her again.

I'm so sorry about your brother. You have insight into grief that most people don't. It's complicated. It doesn't actually end. I've come so far but for whatever reason this milestone has triggered me in a big way.

I don't even know if my emotional distress is not influenced by other things that are going on, such as women having had their rights stripped from them a week ago. Almost everyone I know has been made unhappy by that. Also, I am in NC and her bones are in CA and all of a sudden I'm thinking about hopping on a plane just to visit her on the 19th. But I had decided not to go home until after my son's wedding in Oct.

I don't know it all sucks. I'm so thankful for this forum. I really wish nobody understood me. I wish no one ever had to walk this walk. But sometimes, those are the only people who offer true comfort, because they get it.