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Bereavement

In reply to the discussion: It's already starting. [View all]

PoindexterOglethorpe

(26,730 posts)
23. In the world of bereavement, distinctions mean nothng.
Sat Jul 2, 2022, 09:30 PM
Jul 2022

You are so right.

But this is what I say: As sorry as I am that my son took his own life, I actually have a lot to be grateful for. One is that he didn't do anything messy, like with a gun. Nor did he jump off a bridge (a distinct possibility as he lived in Portland, OR) so we'd never know what happened. He took something, that he'd apparently gotten over the internet, and was found the next morning by his roommate. So he also didn't languish in his apartment until neighbors complained of the smell.

I think it would be vastly harder to lose a child to some kind of accident (car, boating, whatever) or to some disease, or worse yet (in my opinion) to being killed by someone. Especially in a school shooting.

He chose to leave this life. I wish he hadn't. The night before he took his life, he called me and we talked for well over an hour, discussing things we'd never talked about before. I realized much later that he'd called me to say goodbye, without actually saying that. Our last words to each other were "I love you" and that means a lot to me.

And here's what I think of as the best part. He left behind a note (although it was dated some four months earlier, which raises the question of, What was that about? In the middle of it, he made me laugh out loud. What a gift from him, right?

And love back to you.

It's already starting. [View all] barbtries Jul 2022 OP
This happens to me in September spinbaby Jul 2022 #1
Is it always a rough month? barbtries Jul 2022 #2
It's been a rough month for six years spinbaby Jul 2022 #17
Six years. barbtries Jul 2022 #18
So sorry for your loss SheltieLover Jul 2022 #3
She's over the mantle, barbtries Jul 2022 #5
Please know you are not alone in this. SheltieLover Jul 2022 #11
thank you SheltieLover barbtries Jul 2022 #13
Ya, I'm the only one, too SheltieLover Jul 2022 #14
I'm very sorry for your loss Alice Kramden Jul 2022 #4
thank you. barbtries Jul 2022 #6
Big virtual hug Alice Kramden Jul 2022 #7
Mere words are a cheap substitute for the hug I intend but cannot deliver. Your poem Atticus Jul 2022 #8
Thank you Atticus. barbtries Jul 2022 #9
So sorry, barbtries. ❤ littlemissmartypants Jul 2022 #10
thank you littlemissmartypants! barbtries Jul 2022 #15
What a wonderful, painful but beautiful poem. MLAA Jul 2022 #12
Thank you MLAA barbtries Jul 2022 #16
I have been thinking all day of what I might possibly say... 3catwoman3 Jul 2022 #19
thank you 3catwoman3. barbtries Jul 2022 #20
That is the worst possible thing, that she has now been gone PoindexterOglethorpe Jul 2022 #21
PoindexterOglethorpe barbtries Jul 2022 #22
In the world of bereavement, distinctions mean nothng. PoindexterOglethorpe Jul 2022 #23
Latest Discussions»Support Forums»Bereavement»It's already starting.»Reply #23