Loners

as have a huge number of people.
Don't know if that is any comfort.
It comforts me a little to know -- the deficiency is not in me, it is in our society.
We are an atomized society.

If one has a family, is part of a nuclear family - even if there is a lot of squabbling and such - it gives one a circle to belong in. One is not alone.
I am also not close to my family.

I have friends, but I have recently realized that my friends often "let me down" - not due to any fault of theirs, but due to my own expectations.
I am not in a relationship with an other, and wanting that kind of closeness from friends - well, that is not their role.

I also resonate with you wanting a purpose. those times when I feel like I have a purpose - I always feel less lonely.

well, not meaning to go on and on, just sharing some thoughts.
Perhaps at this moment you feel better. Sounds like you have been feeling better. I hope so. Feel free to send me a message if you want to share more.
very best to you.