The older I get the more I don't enjoy being around people very much. [View all]

I'm married so I have my spouse who is my best buddy but no close friends anymore and I feel bad that I don't have close friends.

I guess I'm too outspoken but I seem to say or do something that alienates people sooner or later which I never intend to do as I am, actually, a nice person and always denigrate myself so others feel better about themselves.

Maybe I come across as too needy, emotionally.

Take Christmas. My niece gave us a "half" invitation to go to her house and then never followed up. What to do as presents much be purchased, etc." Every day I check my email to see if there is a note from her.
But maybe its just as well if we don't go as I get so nervous when I go there lest I say something to offend them (they are VERY touchy!) that I wind up drinking too much and then saying something I regret all the way home and days after in case I offended them.

There is so much pressure to "be with friends and family" over the holidays it makes me sad that I'm not like the people in the ads, laughing and being with people who love me and that I love but it never works out that way and I just wind up kicking myself.

In the long run I find that I'm better off without a lot of interaction with other people but I feel bad about that as I feel its best to be a member of a close social group.

Anyone else share any of my feelings?