This is from 1992. (HoF thread) [View all]
1992
It was obvious to me at the police station that I was held in contempt because I was a victim. And we learn that blaming the victim is not for women only
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I wasn't in control. I know also how women and children are routinely punished when they speak out about abuse, how they are blamed for their own victimization. The examples are endless: Witness the contempt with which Anita Hill was treated. For these reasons and more I'm still reticent, years after it happened, to recount what happened to me that day in Ohio. This article marks the first time in 15 years I have publicly discussed it under my own name.
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For myself, I don't need for rape to be gender neutral to feel validated as a male survivor. And I certainly don't need to denigrate women, or to attack feminists, to explain why I was abused by the (male) police, ridiculed by my (male) friends, and marginalized by thefmale dominated) society around me. It is precisely because we have been "reduced" to the status of women that other men find us so difficult to deal with. It was obvious to me at the police station that I was held in contempt because I was a victim feminine, hence perceived as less masculine. Had I been an accused criminal, even a rapist, chances are I would have been treated with more respect, because I would have been seen as more of a man. To cross that line, to become victims of the violence which works to circumscribe the lives of women, marks us somehow as traitors to our gender. Being a male rape survivor means I no longer fit our culture's neat but specious definition of masculinity, as one empowered, one always in control. Rather than continue to deny our experience, male survivors need to challenge that definition.
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http://www.ontheissuesmagazine.com/1992spring/pelka_spring1992.php