tone. the way we address the issues. uncivil? rude? [View all]

i was shot a link to DI, once again, men from du, talking about us hof women. how we women are rude. uncivil. skinner's DI (i do not remember the name but he clearly states who he is) comments quoted in this thread.

it basically seemed to be a handful of du men, a few that know little about hof, all defining who we are and our .... tone. as uncivil and rude.

they also posted some of di skinner comments. i verglas, who is welcome on that site of course clarified skinners statements, to see all of what he was saying. instead of cherry picking to meet agenda, like the man that was pulling out skinners quotes. and... she got a post hidden. because she was uncivil. in a thread discussing baines.... who had a post hidden, who was kicked off du for time out, because she is rude and uncivil.

all the men did assure us it is our uncivil, rude behavior causing us the problem.

baines and i have both had public rape scenarios and OPs started attacking our fuckability, and it allowed to stand.

yet, we are rude and uncivil.

why is DI important to du? well hell, it is the very people on du talking about us. lol. duh. i say. quit talking about us, and i quit talking about you. i do not get the onus on this one, when i am taking the SECOND punch. i am allowed to defend.

i had a thread on du yesterday. i made a mistake. it was called out. i fixed the mistake. done. oh no, .... had to have a couple start the same shit. why?

we have a relatively new duer who presents himself as a 20's man. and since he has been on du, he has told us women. we know not what we speak of. we are wrong. we need to be quiet and listen to him. he too is a feminist, but us old women, just will not allow him to lead. cause he does not want only a voice at the table, he wants to lead us women.

and i ask.

when i say no. does that really make me uncivil and rude?
when i do not allow another to define me, does that make me uncivil and rude?
when i express my beliefs, that are progressively democratic, does that make me uncivil or rude?

tone. always tone. simply stating, does that make me uncivil and rude?

seems to be the criteria we often use. back to DI. it has been implied by skinner more than once, (if people want posts i can provide), both on DI and DU, that we EARN the hostility. and if a large enough pool of our peers are resentful of us, then a hide is legit.

i put forth, that seldom am i even to the extent of rude or uncivil. what i am.... is vocal and blunt. not always right, but always working with the truth i know.

between the long thread i read last night, listening to my fellow duers, on a crazy uncle site and the new poster emailing me this morning, telling me i address feminism wrong, i thought the conversation should at least be something we are aware of if nothing more. i find it interesting, what is happening in our world today. how hard too many individuals are trying to deny us our autonomy in the name of support, liberal democratic view.

i have really kinda backed off du a bit, and rarely go into DI. though, i get a DI update thru my email that i find interesting. i am really just perusing GD for now and occasionally commenting. it feels like a lot of us are doing just that. cool. cool cool cool. womens issues seem to be more focused elsewhere, with a larger pool of like minded people. betcha we would do better in those pools of peers, with jury, than we do on DI and DU. anyway.

just thoughts.