the least. the very least. i get to say, how i want to be treated as a person. [View all]

something so archaic, so very stupid and intrusive, so insultingly dominance?, i am told by my brother that when my 22 yr old niece brought her new BF for dinner, he was gonna "drill" him.

this 54 yr old man, that has lived in a fucked up life for a couple three decades now and dependent on us women in all manners, including financially for his very survival, for decades, has a male "right" over us three women. his 26 yr old daughter, his niece and his sister.

i love him unconditionally, with boundaries.

a family of alcoholic haze of the extremes in life.

all my men are struggling so. trying to figure out what their role is in todays world, because the old john wayne is literally making us women sick. lol. they do not get it, yet the men feel us women simply not playing this game any more.

i have spent the last two decades playing the surrogate mother for so many in this part of my family. willingly, because i love each and every one. i was willing for the last two decades. i am also, done today. we are literally handing it over to my 26 yr old niece. she was raised by two drunk parents. violence and abuse a part of her life. a world of extreme highs and lows. she had her period of total miss up, and out of control. she also said to me that she had every reason to be so angry, at that time in her life. damn straight she did.

she has two brothers she literally raised cause her parents were not capable. and thru her teens, she took over the finance and parenting.

she is so damn strong. and at 26, two kids and single. she stands up for herself. she insists in creating a life of security in all ways, with her family of two drunk parents and her two brothers, that are floundering, yet going thru the same thing she did, at that age. still parenting them.

and another niece that has her own story, trying like shit to figure things out at 22. but what she knows, is she has created such strong boundaries, in todays world, what she will allow in her life.

yet. when my brother tells me, he is going to drill this 26 yr old man, "his intentions toward a 22 yr old woman". i am telling you, how do i sit there and say nothing. after my mouth drops at his audacity of stupid.

ya ya ya. we have our roles. we are all helpless, and must be dependent on the men in our lives to protect us from their illusionary macho world, while we do the reality. it is a game. to make men feel good. useful. and though us women look at each other, and say for real? we are suppose to play helpless.

it just is not happening anymore.

and the men are so angry that we will not play. and just the mere audacity i have, to say, no. stop. not playing this.

the anger.