History of Feminism

F4lconF16

(3,747 posts)

41. What do you mean by "focusing on the courage inherent in surviving is helpful"?

Fri Jan 2, 2015, 03:57 PM

Jan 2015

I'm not really sure what you mean, though I think I have an idea.

Like some herein above, discounting harassment or victim-blaming becomes a defense against such harassment happening to them, at least without some sort of hypothetical "strong and courageous" counter-attack.

I think there is a lot of fear behind victim-blamers' comments. They remind me a lot of right-wingers that "train" all the time in martial arts so they can defend themselves at any moment. It doesn't make a difference who you are, it can happen to you--and that scares them. They think that if they blame the victim, they can somehow be better than the victim, so they will never have a problem.

Actual responses to harassment are as varied as the humans walking this planet. Assigning some moral value to any of the myriad possible responses is inappropriate.

Well said.

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I was sexually harassed for the first time today. Thoughts that have been running through my head. [View all] F4lconF16 Dec 2014 OP

Glad you are alright. It does shake you. nt Mnemosyne Dec 2014 #1

Thank you. nt F4lconF16 Dec 2014 #8

I quit a job once due to sexual harasment that included touching my butt. Vattel Dec 2014 #2

I'm glad the bosses I have at my two jobs would very much F4lconF16 Dec 2014 #9

Message auto-removed Name removed Dec 2014 #22

take heart. those people are pathetic. I have gone through brutal harassment in my roguevalley Dec 2014 #3

I almost felt pity for him. F4lconF16 Dec 2014 #10

Now you know what women feel like vlyons Dec 2014 #4

Yes, I am doing well now. F4lconF16 Dec 2014 #11

I don't know if you carry a cell phone but you avebury Dec 2014 #5

That's a good idea, and one I actually just did recently. F4lconF16 Dec 2014 #12

Also set it up to that anything that is recorded is avebury Dec 2014 #16

I understand. I'm sure a lot of us M&F have been hassled when we most don't want to deal .. BlueJazz Dec 2014 #6

Thanks :) F4lconF16 Dec 2014 #13

I'm sorry this happened to you. It was good of you to come here and make these points, also. n/t spooky3 Dec 2014 #7

Thankfully it was not worse. F4lconF16 Dec 2014 #14

That's fucked up ismnotwasm Dec 2014 #15

Thank you for sharing, I have no doubt many here can relate..glad your okay AuntPatsy Dec 2014 #17

Bless you for this wryter2000 Dec 2014 #18

Post removed Post removed Jan 2015 #24

Oh, I wish that was possible KitSileya Jan 2015 #25

In this case, it sounded like the harasser was a stranger, or at best, an acquaintance whathehell Jan 2015 #26

I don't know what it would be like for a man, KitSileya Jan 2015 #32

So you are believe whathehell Jan 2015 #34

Heck no! I am so anti-gun it's not even funny. KitSileya Jan 2015 #35

Maybe if he wasn't wearing that awesome jacket... chervilant Jan 2015 #27

You need to drop the snark -- It's quite misguided. whathehell Jan 2015 #31

I stand by my assertion chervilant Jan 2015 #36

I never challenged your assertion and you know it. whathehell Jan 2015 #38

... chervilant Jan 2015 #40

This message was self-deleted by its author JTFrog Jan 2015 #39

Did you call the cops? termroffor Dec 2014 #19

rollin eyes. you guys really are very boring and tedious. seabeyond Dec 2014 #20

This message was self-deleted by its author chrisa Dec 2014 #23

And, predictable... n/t chervilant Jan 2015 #28

f4, a very illuminating retelling of your experience. seabeyond Dec 2014 #21

Thank you. F4lconF16 Jan 2015 #44

The fear and guilt can be a lifetime "sentence" chervilant Jan 2015 #29

What do you mean by "focusing on the courage inherent in surviving is helpful"? F4lconF16 Jan 2015 #41

I will give you a personal example first: chervilant Jan 2015 #45

Thank you for writing this. It's very painful to realize that, to some other Nay Jan 2015 #30

I'll go take a look at it. F4lconF16 Jan 2015 #42

Thank you for sharing this. KitSileya Jan 2015 #33

+ a gazillion chervilant Jan 2015 #37

You and someone else have both said something I very much agree with. F4lconF16 Jan 2015 #43

I am glad that you feel much better. KitSileya Jan 2015 #46