History of Feminism

I am one of six sisters. Three of us (the youngest) were sexually abused by a middle-aged man married to my older sister (she's sixteen years older than me).

After I escaped my abuser (primarily by going to college and having my roommate vet my calls), I was living in an apartment complex in the Montrose in Houston, where I became friends with the predominantly lesbian residents. My next door neighbor dragged me (literally, kicking and resisting) to a Women's Support Group wherein I discovered that what I had survived was childhood sexual assault. I hadn't even known what it was called! These amazing women helped me understand that his abuse was wrong, and solely his responsibility. They also helped me understand that the coping strategies I had developed (I was dissociative, actually) were a measure of my mind's courage in helping me survive the pernicious assaults inflicted by this sick individual.

One of my younger sisters later said to me, "I didn't let Horace get to me!" which was her way of coping with the abuse she sustained. With the help of my support group, I came to recognize that my sister was using the defense strategy that worked best for her, and wasn't necessarily blaming and shaming me.

Now, after better than thirty years of advocacy for survivors, I've learned that legitimizing whatever coping strategies enabled each individual to survive is an essential first step to recovery. Survivors learn that they're not alone, and that they're NOT crazy. It's empowering to understand that feelings of shame and embarrassment are normal, and each survivor has a personal path to recovery that no one else can define or control.

I have to tell you that sharing your personal experience is VERY courageous, and helpful to others who've had similar experiences and no outlets for processing their feelings. You may never know how many survivors you've helped just by sharing your experience. I thank you sincerely for so doing.