Dear Senator Cruz,I'm so impressed by your plans to spend your first day in office effectively undoing what our nation's leaders have been working to get done. That sounds like a great idea. Backtracking is the ultimate goal. (Insert eye roll here.)

Dear Dr. Carson,
Per your remark about "fighting for our children and the next generation," I just want to say, as a member of this generation that you claiming to be fighting on behalf of -- these aren't the fights I wish you'd fight (but it's a noble way to frame your self-serving agenda).

Dear Mr. Trump,
It would be cool if you stopped capitalizing on your privilege as a wealthy white male.
I know you enjoy being the farce of the party. But if we don't have time for political correctness, as you say (a weak excuse in response to accusations of your absurd misogyny, to be quite frank), then we definitely don't have time for someone like you to be taking up space in a political debate. (Side note: what do you mean we don't have time? There are still months before the primaries start!)

Dear Senator Rubio,
YOU WERE SO CLOSE! You could have taken one step in the right direction if you'd admitted that you supported exceptions to your pro-life stance in the case of rape or incest. You blew it, my friend.

Dear Governor Walker,
Thanks for your input that the life of an unborn baby is more important than that of its living mother. The ultimate empowering statement to the approximately 51 percent of America that is female.

To all the candidates:
Thanks, you 10 men, for sharing your opinions on whether a woman should have control over her own body. In the future, please keep them to yourself.