ADD/ADHD

I was put on Ritalin at 4, which made me suicidal at the age of 9, then was placed on zylert and bounced around from pill to pill till at the age of 12 I took myself off of them, nobody noticed I wasn't taking them and it made no change to my ability, or lack there of to pay attention in class. What I did gain back was a memory, the vast majority of my childhood outside of the summers when I wasn't on the pills are completely gone. I can remember stuff from my early childhood right up to the day I was tested and started the pills, but that in between is gone.

To this day I refuse to take pills for anything and have a deep distrust of doctors, I won't even take pain meds unless I'm in so much pain I have no choice, even telling an ER nurse to either not numb me up for stitches or let me do it myself for a 6" gash on my leg and resetting a broken arm myself rather then go to the doctor. On the plus side I've built up a really good pain tolerance threshold. Also, before you ash, the arm is perfectly straight, I wasn't going to do that twice if I didn't have to.