My son gave me a small book entitled Dad, I Want to Hear Your Story.

As I am getting up there in age, I figured I should start making entries, and have done so.
I told him that there would be many printed-out addendums, pertaining to each page where more room to explain is necessary.

One of the first questions is: "What were your first words?" Then they give three lines to answer!
I found that a little humorous, as in "How the hell would I know?" I'm working on an answer, but it will be along the lines of, "This is bullshit!", "Am I supposed to enjoy pissing and shitting myself?" "Who's idea was this?"

I lost my father to colon cancer when I was thirteen, therefore relied mostly upon my mother for family history, she left out quite a bit. But by digging around, speaking with my cousin, and of course my personal experiences, I've found out how I've become who I am today.

I'm no angel by any means, and I'll be working on this as long as I can. I think my son deserves to know as much of the family history, as well as my own.

I feel for your loss, and the circumstances that kept you from this sorrowful event. For whatever reason, some things are just not meant to be. I should have died 1972-04-04, from a neck wound that severed my carotid artery.

Keep the good memories in the forethought, never deny any problems that may have occurred, and remember the discussions, the love, and the hugs, those are the things that have made you the person you are today.

In my family (and in my wife's as well), there were all sorts stories all detailed with names dates and places of native American blood, particullarly Cherokee. In the eighties I did a career change and became a draftsman. The guy who sat across from was Sioux. Once in conversation I told him I had native blood, also. He asked which tribe I was enrolled with, and I told him I was part Cherokee. He absolutely cracked up laughing - "All you white people have Cherokee blood!!!", he said.


About six years ago, my wife and my Christmas gifts to each other was a genetic reading. Neither of us have a drop of native American blood, though to the great dismay of her family MAGA purebloods, she has 3% Sub-Saharan Bantu genes.

They took some blood, (they are looking for genetic ways to prevent/ some diseases).

About three months after I donated the blood, I got a generic genetic report.
I found two things that were interesting.
I have Ashkenazi Jew genes, a part of my family history that was unknown, at least to me. The rest were Northern European, which I did know of, German, English, and Dutch. The Ashkenazi Jew stuck out, and I wonder why that was never mentioned (perhaps nobody else knew?).

Then there was this "weird" thing: You don't like Cilantro.
Well, I don't like Cilantro, I don't even enjoy smelling it growing in gardens. But what startled me was that there was a "Cilantro gene".

This had me pondering just how far genetics has come. Ashkenazi Jew, OK, but Cilantro...WTF?
There is a genetic test for Cilantro?

I refuse to go to a commercial DNA conduit. I trust the VA to keep things tight.
One good thing, it stimulated me to look into genetics more closely.

... the same background though I do have Swiss background, too - and I like cilantro just fine.

I have read numerous articles on the Mormon Church (LDS) attempting to get as much info as possible on the individuals living in this country.

I have no idea what the "purpose" is, but there seems to be a vast repository of personal information stored in Utah. If it were an article or two, from likeminded sites and resources, I'd just shove it off as a Conspiracy Theory.

About 50 years ago I was first exposed to this, from time to time, it rears its head just enough for me to question, "To what end?"

I believe a person needs 2 of the genes to dislike/hate cilantro. It usually tastes like Soap to those that have it!

I really like it, but I wonder if you could have one gene affect you, bc I get a
real faint soapy taste that's over powered by the other taste components: greenness, tangyness, etc.

It is a gift from god or the universe to have a Dad who leaves you a legacy of true humanity.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

may he live on in your fond memories.

... among a lot of other things.

And the car troubles that prevented you from attending his funeral. He sounds like a wonderful person.

My children lost their dad two weeks ago.
Three of our four children are spread out over Washington, oregon, and las vegas, they were unable to get to Reno for various reason.
My youngest, who lives with me in Sacramento has been handling everything.

We have decided to hold a celebration of life later this year instead of a funeral.

Maybe that is something you could do to honor your dad.

My dad passed over 12 years ago and I still miss him every day. My heart is with you and your family.

You are correct. He is right there with you. 💗💗💗🙏🏼

for you, truly.
My own father is almost at that age now and I am dreading the day that we lose him. I wish I could offer something other than my sincere condolences.

... it's part of the deal, and while it's not necessary to embrace it, accepting it makes it easier.

He sounds like a great person.

:bi:

and the fact that you were not able to attend his funeral. How heartbreaking. I have no words, but I am glad that you were able to tell us a little bit about him. Your friend who rescued you sounds like a real friend, and I hope you get a chance to grieve with your family.

... we're going go visit my brothers in the Phoenix area next or the month after. I imagine we're flying.

And you are absolutely right: The good ones, like your father, remain with us.

Peace to you and your family.

... Once he and I were moving the fountain in the backyard. When it came time to move the short plinth it was on, it meant dealing with the wiring. I asked him he had "de-energized" the circuit. He said he didn't need to because he was only going to touch one wire at a time.

He got a good shock and I walked 10 ft to the box and flipped the switch.

We then went into the house for lunch.
"Hey, guess who got shocked!" he asked my mom.
"You."
"Who squealed?!?"
"You did, I heard you clear in the house!"


Nothing but good times.

Sounds like you are very fortunate to have your dad!

... a real man.

May your memories be a source of joy.

Have you tried carparts.com? That works for some people.

It is a blessing to have such wonderful memories of a father who was caring and kind.

And I’m sorry you couldn’t attend his funeral. But he is there in your heart and is there with you always.

I'm glad you can remember him as a good father and a good human.

That's really the best that any of us can hope for, to be remembered as a good person.

What a heartbreaking situation for you. You tried. Your father sounds like a wonderful man.

sorry for your loss.

... with no worries even ten years ago here on DU. Thank you for thinking of my 'trials'!

May his memory spark warm thoughts + bring comfort...

Yes his goodness lives on through his children.

He'll always be in your heart.

must have been very difficult for you. It sounds like your Dad was a really good person and would himself have understood. Your words "he will never be gone" are what we all wish for. Peace.

And getting to him. But you are right, those we love are never really gone. I still talk to my parents and husband now and then. I also know they are part of me.

He sounds like a great man to have as a father.

May you find peace and comfort in your memories.

his funeral.
I'm glad you had him for many years.

your loss. Lovely remembrance of your father. No he will never be gone because your memories will stay with you.

because of car trouble.

He sounds like a wonderful man. Teaching empathy is so important - maybe the most important lesson that can ever be taught.

I'm not religious, but what I've learned and experienced and heard about from others, especially people grieving, makes me certain our spirits do live on, and we all have reunions with loved ones to look forward to. I'm sure your dad's aware of your tribute to him here, and appreciates it.

That must have really hurt missing the funeral over a car part.

Peace to you .

You are lucky to have had such a great man for a Dad.


I feel the same way about mine.

He sounded like a good man. He will live on in all of your hearts. Thank you for letting us know.



Diamond_Dog

... would give my dad 10 more years. We did not give that surgeon a serious hearing. By this point he had been seeing my late mother and talking to her, sometimes when one of us were at his assisted living space. His lungs stated filling and he had been put into a hospital during the weekend before last. He had hospice nurses the day he went to my brothers house and passed that night.

I make it sound so terrible. It wasn't. It was trying to move in ordinary fashion during an non-ordinary circumstance.

You do him honor to remember him to us and others. May you carry his empathy with you always, marble falls.

He sounds like a great man. I would have liked a father like that.

... or parents. There were time there were four generations living in that house. And maybe a neighbor kid on the outs with their folks.

Out of 28 grandchildren only one has passed early (alcohol).

Last edited Sat Feb 15, 2025, 04:39 AM - Edit history (1)

My Dad was also a good man that taught me through example. He's been gone for 27 years and I still miss him every day.

And sorry that such misfortune kept you from the funeral. We buried my mom about two weeks ago. The best advice I can give is not to beat yourself up over anything you might regret and instead remember the good times. I also began chronically some of the adventures mom and I had. I found the tears flowed easier when doing that. But they weren't just tears of loss they were tears of joy, too. DU was there for me in my darkest moments. We'll be here for you, too. Blessings upon you and yours.

BTW, Lake Marble Falls was where my first husband and I went on our first vacation. Beautiful! Thi coming from Albuquerque back to San Antonio on joint spouse orders i was sick as a dog thru El Paso. Little did I know at that time I was pregnant. But it left a horrid memory of El Paso..lol

... the first time by Grayhound in the 70's in snow about this time of year, the the next year on motorcycles in March, in snow, in late March. A jet fighter ran off a runway and an INS officer hit an undocumented immigrant who was running across I-10. That whole trip was a .... trip.

I'll miss my dad, but I have no sadness. He failed quickly and painlessly. He live a good and long life. As did my mom. She got to die at home, also. No pain and within a week being bed ridden.

May your memories give you comfort.

Take good care of yourself, while you grieve. s are here for when you need them.

It always seems so inadequate to say but I am so sorry.

... thank you for your sincerly kind thoughts.

It's so nice when people name with specificity what it was/is that makes someone special to you.
The gift he gave you is one that will pave most roads for you.

God bless him

So sorry you were not able to reach him before he passed. But know he'll always be with you.

And your family. Many blessings!

It’s so hard to lose our parents. I wish you peace and comfort.

What an inspiring legacy!

And that you could not get there in time for the funeral. He was a wonderful father.

There is no pain quite like it, I know... It is SO, so painful.

Time will help. Meanwhile, do whatever you need to do for yourself. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

You were lucky to have him so long. Take care of yourself Marble Falls.

And equally sorry that you missed his funeral due to car trouble, sounds like a tough experience. It's too bad that your Dad was so far away, mine is close enough that I go there every week to light a new candle for him. An older friend suggested that I write my Dad a letter, but I told her that I talk to him all the time since the cemetery is just down the hill from the office where I used to work. One of the saddest things was that my grandmother outlived him as she did with 3 of her 4 children, but my Dad was her eldest boy and she was particularly close to him, he was always there for his mother.

I'm the eldest in my family now, too, except one aunt by marriage, and every one of my generation lives in other states except for my agoraphobic brother. I hope that you can keep up with your brothers, your Dad sounds like a wonderful man.

... He was fine and decent human. Fortunately, my two favorite sibs were there and he was visited everyday, and I called regularly.

I am so sorry to hear this.

IIRC - your dad was the one who kept insisting on driving himself? And if I did remember that correctly, I bet your travails with the car was "his doing" (from above).

You will always have those fond memories.

... my brothers could sleep through this, but I got up and pitched in. We rebuilt four old Buicks. We did a lot of car trips in our family.

Those words are inadequate but meant.

such a caring, loving family.

and your family.

out to your family. My heartfelt RIP to your wonderful Dad (and a heartfelt kudos to your family in taking care of your Dad in his final moments).

You have an inspirational way to accept his passing and gratitude for the fact that he is your father. He sounds like a loving father who bestowed gifts for for living, on you in his guidance. May the memories be precious. Take care, peace.

but you're right...he'll never really be gone.

My condolences on your loss.