Borowitz - Kristi Noem Keeps Losing Things [View all]

Should the person in charge of homeland security be able to secure her own belongings?

I only ask because our DHS secretary, Kristi Noem, keeps losing stuff.

This disturbing pattern first emerged last April, when Noem’s Gucci bag was stolen out from under her chair while she was dining at Capital Burger in Washington, DC. In a cruel irony for the patron saint of ICE agents, the thief was wearing a mask.

The contents of her bag included keys, passport, DHS badge, and $3000 in currency. It was unclear why Kristi was carrying so much cash, unless she had after-dinner plans to bribe Tom Homan.

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/kristi-noem-keeps-losing-her-shit