LGBT

I'm not sure I've felt validated since 2008 myself.. At least didn't feel empty inside. My heart goes out to you for the loss of your partner

PTSD is so unpredictable like that. Sometimes it gets triggered at the oddest times... or the smallest things. I'm hoping that in the last couple days that the nightmares have dulled a bit and you've been able to sleep a bit better. I'm also glad the therapy helped at least some. Good - or even decent - therapy can be so hard to find. I've struggled to find it for years myself.

The experiences you've had, I've had, so many have had, often lead me to wonder if we really have an "education" system in this country. It feels more like having a social conditioning system where they decide early on who's accepted... and who's not. For those of us who aren't accepted, it's a living nightmare. For far too many of us, we leave "school" with more PTSD and scars than we do education.

Family also far too often does not help, or makes it worse. I think that's another thing so many don't see - here or anywhere... What our families do to us. I wish I could say "No way, I can't believe it" over your father... But I can. That's the saddest thing. I can. Families are supposed to be there for us and protect us, not harm us. But far too many families do hurt their own, and that seems to be far more frequent with the LGBTQ community.

Like you, I think the era of Trumpism has opened some eyes. Even then, not enough. I don't think people see how bad it was prior to 2016, or fully get how bad it is in 2022. I don't think they see how badly the LGBTQ community is targeted by RW extremism (300+ bills so far in 2022 alone.) I know there is a lot of fear and anger over Roe - rightfully so. I know there is a lot of fear and anger over Buffalo - rightfully so. But I think some don't get what a relentless onslaught 2022 has been for us, and how it takes its toll. When we come here and it doesn't feel so safe (such as over Maher or Chappelle, or the fits over Lia Thomas), I don't think people get the impact it has. It doesn't even have to be anything as blatant as "two genders" or "respect the science". Things as "small" as arguing or debating about us like we're not even here hurts and makes us feel unsafe.

I myself has a significant PTSD attack on my birthday of all days, just a few days ago. Why? Was it hitting another birthday while hating my body? Probably. I imagine the recent three-headed monster of Maher, Chappelle and Gervais factored in it as well. The shooting in Texas did as well. And the 300+ bigoted bills in 2022 obviously played a part... So on what should be a happy day, I have a PTSD episode. I've spent the last few days trying to reconstruct the whole thing, including what happened during it. I was actually working that evening, and I've been trying to check and be sure it happened after I got off the air, not during. Fortunately, it sounds like it wasn't while on the air... But I imagine there's a few hours of my life that are gone to a blackout of an episode.

Like you, so much of the trauma that has led to PTSD was caused by what should've been two "safe spaces" - school and family. Even though I wasn't out while in school, even though my family loves to talk of sticking together... They didn't help, they hurt. Decades later, the scars are still there, I'm a walking ball of neurosis on a good day, and on the wrong day... Boom. PTSD episode.

I wish people would understand this is far more common than they think. Some just hide it better... I get that a lot of people are hurting and scared and angry right now, and the last thing I want to do is play the "Oppression Olympics" with any other group under attack. I just want them to see we're people too, and we're hurting too.

We should all be safe - here, and everywhere. I'm losing hope when it comes to everywhere... I just hope we can start by making here safe.