I have a question about terminology: Is queer an offensive term to use? [View all]

I ask first, because I don't want to offend, but also when I was young, at least in my neck of the woods, queer was considered offensive. A gay friend of mine says it's still offensive. But recently I've seen queer used on social media & in blogs, & on progressive & pro-LGBT sites, too. I also read a novel a few years ago, where the gay author's gay characters used the word queer to define themselves, so that got me to wondering if things have changed or maybe it's a term that's acceptable for those within the community to use but not others? Apologies if this sounds rude, but the alphabet is frustrating for people cuz they don't remember the order of or all the letters, & a word would be so much easier. If we just say gay, is that inclusive enough?