Fellow feminists... what the fuck do I do? [View all]

Male ally here... I've got one hell of a conundrum here. To simplify this before I tell you my tale, it is essentially "Why do some women keep falling for really bad, bad men?"

So here it goes. I have a niece, she's 21 now. She's got a bad record with shitty men. At first there was bf 1 who weirded her out at one point and she found someone else, she went to bf 2 and was off and on for 6 years because he was a cheater. big deal right? high school guys tend to cheat but it gets worse...

She considered bf1 her first, her high school sweetheart. She went back to him. We didn't hear much from her during that time. She started staying over at his place, she would keep in touch with my wife (they're close) and she would complain about his drug habits, always borrowing money from her and whatnot. (yeah he turned out bad no shit)

We told her that he's a dead beat, he's using her, get out and do your thing. Eventually she told us the place they were staying at was about to have the power cut because the tenants couldn't afford it. This. was why she eventually cut ties with him.

So why not sooner? well, since she was out of it she started to tell us more about what happened during that time. He beat her. He forced her against her will to do other things that I won't mention but I'm certain you can guess.

We, the family were furious with him, but as with all cases of man against woman violence, if it's reported MONTHS after the incident, good luck.

in the end, we could take comfort in knowing that that man was being us... but my niece doesn't want to take our advice of "you're young, ready to start a college education or career, whatever is cool with you, so just be single, find yourself, build yourself and meet someone special along the way"

again. she's found a new guy. she already told us how he lost his last job for yelling at a woman. While hanging out with him he praised her for "not being the type of woman who tells me to stop playing my video games". and what's worse... he's apart of some Meninist MRA group on Facebook.

fuck our lives I'm thinking... on one hand I tell myself, my niece is not my property and her life is her own. I have to let go. but then on the other hand, he last bf strangled her and forced her to do things against her will. and I wonder, would she ever have left that piece of shit if the power were never cut off in that building?

what red flag would it take for my niece to realize, I'm going to say no to these men? what the hell can I do? I'm angry, I'm scared, I'm worried.... I don't know what to do. please help.