Feeling really down [View all]

I've been battling major depression my entire adult life - I'm 62 now. My meds usually work really well. But, sometimes, like now. I will have another episode. Not as bad as before medication but bad enough.

I guess I'm feeling tired and overwhelmed right now. I take care of my 90 year old mother and my adult daughter who has her own physical and mental health issues.

Sometimes the urge to end my life is very strong. I've had those thoughts for so long they're burned into my brain. Does anyone else feel that way? Right now, the biggest thing keeping me from doing anything is my lack of energy. Plus, a small part of me doesn't want to leave a mess for my family.

I live in a small town which does have a mental health facility but, I've been in it before and it didn't really help much. The therapists at the outpatient facility are terrible. One therapist I was seeing was even fired.

I don't have anyone I can talk to. I don't have any privacy at home so, talking to someone over the phone wouldn't work.

I know I'll be better in a couple of days but, until then, life sucks.

Thanks for reading.