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Maybe it is in the *non-doing.*
Simply break down your own barriers and listen without pretending to have all the answers. Be completely open with heart and mind and soul and just listen. Just simply BE present with them is all with no expectations.
Most folks self-medicate because they feel no one can understand their feelings. It's not like they want someone to GIVE THEM the answers...or to actually DO ANYTHING...more often than not - all they really need is for someone to give unconditional love and just listen without an agenda and just be present with them with whatever they are going through. Usually - that's enough. 
Pretty simple, actually 
edited for spelling ~
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