Smoking Cessation

My life partner died very suddenly on March 9, 2024. Several days after the funeral I very went into a convenience store, bought a lighter and a pack of cigarettes on a whim. I have gone back to being a smoker ever since. It is stupid, unhealthy and ugly and , in many ways, I hate it. Waist of money. They are so expensive now. Total waste of money I do not have. In a way, it has calmed me and made me feel more relaxed as I deal with all of this, My lover, who smoked, was a registered nurse and she kept her smoking habit at home. Hard to quit. It sucks .