Pets

... impulsive. That there's less 3% genetic difference between my cat and a tiger. I've watched him stalk my wife. He's considered culling our little herd. I've caught him listening to us while he pretended to sleep. I have a spiderweb of scratches on my forearms that show up well in a black light. It looks like I had an EMO teen years.

Dogs have a short attention span, but they are forgiving. They never compare portion size.

But cats ...