Writing

Last edited Sat Mar 7, 2026, 10:06 PM - Edit history (1)

(These posts are a work in progress. I formally request MIRT/EarlG/elad to alert on or delete any that cross any lines and I will try to figure out which specific piece of hateful, kooky, extremism was an issue. I am throwing every tool I have at this now. Sadly writing is easier at the moment than work or a healthy lifestyle. I am serious about this. So now I must move fast to finish my paper, complete writing and start the process of complaint initiation with as much pushback as was warranted given how horrific this was. I am at least still alive to tell how fraudulent safety/mental health concerns imperiled me).

I have pondered with disgust and some fascination this entire collection of greedy, self-serving, solipsistic narcissistic candidates for the Darwin Awards going back to 2011.

It was late in the September or early October of 2011 that I realized that what I had assumed was a routine and respectable job was instead the exact type of sleazy bullshit I have avoided all my life and filled with the types of Indians, Americans, men and women I would take a plane, train, boat, bicycle, bullock cart etc to get as far away from as possible.

Nobody has to even be particularly cynical to see that these people don’t care about prison reform, mental health, open science, dreamers or undocumented immigrants. They do not have Christian or humanitarian concerns. They care about one thing and only one thing. Their own professional and personal advancement at any cost to other humans, the planet, civil society, democracy, science and medicine.

It is complete bullshit to be a clearly mediocre shrink who uses their perch at some ghastly spook hell (just a hypothetical) to shill sobriety propaganda with a muscularly mercenary agenda exploiting Reefer madness driven prejudices to force VR and garbage therapies while assiduously fellating (if you will pardon my contemptuous vulgarity - I am a poet! Artistic license!) data mining giants, defense contractors, assorted scummy surveillance capitalists and private equity giants who would make the “scurrying little men” from 1984 look like noble, upstanding citizens.

Actually, I should not suggest that those people copiously gratify these miserable mordern day mobsters. What would my mother say? Seeing as she is dead I cannot know. She would probably be shocked at the language and ask me to refrain from posting such things online.
I alarmed my poor mother sometimes. You see I take after my dad as well, something I tried to repress throughout. However, it fits the needs of the hour.

Hold on, I have to go and look up what constitutes libel and defamation legally. Poor EarlG and elad. I just got my first post removed in 19 years and 8 months on DU last week for “Hateful, Kooky and Extremist Content”.
In fairness, a totally valid description of Ol’jfz9580m’s content.

I was highly amused by that. Man I hope I am not annoying the hell out of EarlG and elad. I am not a loose cannon. I actually felt sorry for my last mentor and even more so his wife, a decent woman who reminded me a little of my own mother, who was also a hard scientist who liked literature.
Believe it or not, these profanity and veiled aspersions filled bouts of lyrical prose are actually a statement of support for them. It is also a statement of support for EarlG and elad, whose forum I use where I could never have a creepy little Facebook account, a blogspot (Google), wordpress (some guy who owns it..wait..let me go and look up what constitutes libel).
As I spit on my hands and get down to an important task I have delayed for 14 years, 7 months and around 3 days to be precise (precision rants! To match precision medicine!), it would be wise to have an idea of what constitutes libel and defamation.

Okay so these definitions of libel, slander and defamation are totally shackling and unfair.

Free speech! So much for wanting to be inclusive of people and such. What about my right to with lots of justification malign the professional integrit

I am the little guy! I mean I actually totally am!
I am trying to be supportive here for real. There is no way, a person of above average intelligence would believe me (I am generally a MeToo supporter, but I always found their language..unrelatable) if I tried to reivent myself as a woman who says various insipid things. The first feminist book I was ever enthusiastic about was Valerie Solanas’ “Scum Manifesto”.
There is a broader point here of what happens when the left is forced to use language that has been carefully curated by managerial
consultants, litigation obsessed lawyers and sundry bad actors.

The so-called social justice movements of the last 15 years have lead to a noxious form of dialogue with neat boundaries about whom to attack and how that is no doubt very lucrative, but it is heartless, callous, gutless, witless trash.

It is not feminist or egalitarian to spend all your time policing language and existing in state of perpetual offence while defanging the people who might say things (at the risk of libel) such as “those corrupt and mediocre dick-suckers and dicks of Google, Facebook etc are engaged in a shocking

I have grudgingly decided to pullback complaints against Substack since pretty much everyone whose work I respect writes over there.

Hi Dave (EarlG), please email me if I am becoming too much of a nuisance and I will dial it down. I was being satirical about free speech. I am not actually irresponsible.

I intend these for the open web, obscuring only personal details. I am filing a criminal case myself here in India* and I am not enthusiast of the web. But as a hedge strategy (as distinct from a sleazy hedge fund)

But as Ed Zitron said about Dudesy, what distinguishes these rants from something a pathetic ai, data mining, cryptography or lame orchestration racket (not that such things exist! That would be wildly paranoid! And fodder for those grotesque agents that man - in an act of supreme restraint I shall stop calumning stray bloggers however contemptuous I am of conniving humblebrags that shill subpar ai by feigning alarm over drivel- who


For me anyway.



I am not sure that for instance saying: “those insipid, mediocre parasites at Google and Facebook have never had any talent that did not come from theft at scale

*: I lost my mom. This isn’t a joke and none of it is ai or bullshit. I have no mental illness and I am responsible. That is why I am filing a criminal case. It is about negligence and deregulation at scale. This was torture. But it would be impossible for me to represent myself as entirely sane and awake throughout this nauseating experience. And as many of my targets are not the usual suspects (don’t get excited you meninists. This is about being hounded out of the left and feminist areas when rather than regurgitating a pale immitation of someone else’s ideas and experiences, that before ai, was done by the kinds of humans these societies have for very long feted while covering their own tracks wrt their own indebtedness to

I do not know what a disaffected white or any male who is not a creep is like. But I do know what disaffected feminists - a term I am reclaiming as women’s libber is more typing. Efficiency!-are like.
I have only one voice in my head and its my own and I attribute to all real human influences and consider ai a joke.

I have not been myself for a long time. I realized on Friday that what makes me seem a little off is trying to roleplay this irresponsible woman who makes peace with this entire slew of people I cannot excoriate adequately. They can go to Yasha Levine or my mentor’s wife and if they get 100% approval from both of them I will pull back my complaints.
As is I have forgiven and tolerated two intensely annoying labs in which save for one male scientist whose judgement I question in both working in that hell and befriending me (that didn’t last long),

This is not about capitalism or any ism. It is about common sense, honesty and not lying to yourself all the time.
I am dubious about these things I do. I doubt that my mentor’s wife, the one woman in this I would trust and take cues from, would approve. But she is white and in another country and a legitimate honest elite.
I cannot compliment people except inadvertently. Because I have never had a bullshit job or lived in a real dictatorship.
This isn’t a dictatorship.

This is exactly where some small amount of actual intellectual or academic or hard science muscle is coupled with a catastrophically stupid set of sleazy strategies.

Survival of the fittest as a mobster, robber baron or a voluntarily prostitute sees it is not survival.
The only time I pull back anything is when it might endanger the few businesses I engage with.
I bore the brunt of the risk in this.

And yes clearly Ol’jfz9580m is a oppressed and mild woman, because or else, these absolutely corrupt women and men would represent me as a bullying thug myself.
I cannot excoriate what passes for left or liberal or feminist these days enough.
It is just mobbing, but in a different way.

I do not bully people. But I cannot go around saying everything is white or male supremacy. Where it is those people are so voiceless, they are not online meting out clapbacks and getting hearts and likes.
I would be upset and disappointed if I ever evoked any response beyond “gulp..ummmm..”.

And that is not internet toughness. I am so disappointed in all of you. You are a joke of a species.

I am not angry with you. I did think you were too brainwashed to even talk to honestly. But if I had to, I would say that you sit around faking concern online (brainlessly more than maliciously) but I don’t buy you. You are bullies.
Your power comes from other people or actual wealth and power.

Mine comes from a monstrous experience that was and remains torture every day. This is not the life I wanted.
But if this had to happen, I owe you as a society, a paper, unvarnished feedback and a criminal case establishing a legal precedent.
This was no less monstrous than Theranos.
But the risk was distributed and I shall find all the culprits.

I use the pen - the common woman’s tool and rely on EarlG’s graciousness. Whatever I say about all these companies or people, I am not so solipsistic that I would make idiotic purity demands during such a uncertain and insane time.
Hell..I have made some feeble and unconvincing attempts to theoretically placate Shyam Sankar, Josh Hawley and Stepfanie Tyler - an odd assortment of presumably conservative people who..lol..

If I didn’t have a sense of humor, I would be dead. It was the TikTok ban wrt Hawley. That thing really should be banned. I am not violating DU’s TOS. I would be a malicious bot if I thought in my specific position weighing in on American politics was not the type of thing that is truly ill-advised.

Besides most things I say are truthy and satirical and it would be ill-advised to take them at face value (except as in Part 3 I laid out what I will allege and file at least in India and in the last state I worked in). Do you think I do this for a job? It is not about being stuffy. But that would be so depressing. If a woman like me was desperate enough to do something that uncharacteristic. That would be a warning sign that no alarm bells are left.


Billionaire outreach! Not really. But I didn’t shed a tear for Gawker. I wish it had taken that foul Jezebel with it. Celebrity gossip and bullshit “feminism” that allows those brainless meninists like Peter Thiel (is that libel? I mean yes he does sound pretty stupid, but clearly you cannot actually exist without a brain. So that is a euphemism).

Now, I like the venerable Fox News, do my best to be fair and balanced with our sleazy billionaire class. Otoh my balance here is skewed due to the reality that this was not an explicitly conservative male driven thing, but the result of what I consider a genuine mindless cancer on the left.

Now yes, I was mildly nauseated to see a fraudulent “eclectic” mix of that person Yoshua Bengio (damn libel laws), Steve Bannon, the disgraceful Ralph Nader (I knew some Naderites in grad school - totally self centred, attention seeking morons. They were not voting their conscience. They did not live in a war zone and find themselves unable to not feel hurt. But they did like to view themselves as …they were well-heeled, contemptuous of other humans and not people I remember with any affection or respect. Ol’ jfz9580m has a brutal worldview she was trying to mask. I think I am a failure and a disappointment. Why would I like people with even less self-awareness who had far more resources invested in them than I ever did. Mine have been poached and parasitized).
Honesty is the only way out. I have no delusions of grandeur but these guys do.

I would throw even Elon Musk a bone - one of the bones Ol’jfz9580m is notoriously stingy with and say that it was a failure of msm that covered up some scandals involving sexual violence against and grooming of women. But I am not a beagle or a Thai boy in a cave.
This is the real world. My being online is a sign that things are as broken as it can get.
But Musk does try to shutdown small left wing outfits and I would rather EarlG banned me outright than risk that. That is the closest I have ever come to transactionalism.
I may need reputation management after this. Musk and DOGE are awful. My parents were public servants and I was shocked at the treatment I saw of federal workers.

But these street mapping and other projects where our corrupt communist govt has conducted them are vile harassment. And generalities and specifics are different. I have no compunction for any of the people involved.

But when these people (who are grifters who would be disliked by most everyone who knew them) are self destructing, it would be foolish to pile on and hobble Ol’jfz9580m where whether you are the home team or across the aisle, Ol’jfz9580m is engaged in pest control and tumor degrowth. This is not healthy growth.
But Ol’ jfz9580m is no one’s fool and never a bully, though a mawali, whatever that is..some kind of thug I think. These guys are creeps and attention seeking brainless parasites.
I shall find them all and press charges and file malpractice and misconduct allegations as well as report any scammers who tried to use this to game their way ahead.

This is a situation like Theranos where there is no left-right angle and yes a legal precedent checking this must come out of 14.5 years of psychological torture that left one person dead.
The utility of my resilience is not to enable this and I am no fan of Ayman Al Hirsi. I can see all sided stupidity without being like grifters like Musa Al Gharbi and bought and paid for faux contrarians.

This society has enough trash labeled left or right that is grift and focusing on that is more important than pursuing ideological goals or continuing to self promote (just from a new cult..I am angry because this was dishonest, grifty and corrupt and I learnt and an exiting now as it will get worse. But this happened and that is why we are here).
I have expended all my policing instincts on self-policing while this vile trash proliferated all around me. I tried to buy into these endlessly sleazy and nauseating both sided garbage things. And I finally realized, my mom’s death was because of this.
It is unfortunate this is on the web. It will confuse your brain into thinking it is kayfabe/a game/a show/ if you are really stupid, madness or a growth or sleazy cottage industry opportunity. I understand this perfectly.
I did from the start. And I am no longer cowed by that hardcore bullshit.

But this is a communist state filled with Private Equity giant bought hospitals that no one left or right would sympathize with.
Let Ol’jfz9580m avenge herself! Legally and non violently. My brain could not process this as I am very averse to histrionics.

As those various brainless girlbosses (specifically that sleazebag Wynn-Williams - I don’t think that is libel and in a kind of twisted compliment, she at least would have the sense to not make herself ridiculous by suing me) would say, I am mission-focused! These platforms are a cancer. They make a stupid society even stupider and set off a fraudulent cottage industry of bullshit tech criticism. I do this for free!

My ex says it is a bad idea to give me ideas like the Bill Maher v President Trump thing. Speaking of which I wonder if after all this Yasha Levine would be Orwell to my Wodehouse knockoff in hell. I totally exploit Yasha for left wing cred and reputation management. The only kind that (like true hard science cred) ever strained me.

Yasha will last the test of time. He cares. I love Yasha. If I had had a brother, he would have been annoying. But if I could have had one I chose, it would be Yasha.

You and your family always have a home here with me in India Yasha..though I hope it never comes to that. Should I sign up for that foul Substack again? That thing sucked away so much money. I am not gullible and this lame experiment was so easy to see through and such a joke. But I do like supporting Yasha and Chris Ketcham. I shall make a list of the only people whose work I support and all forms of conflict are on the table wrt abyone else.

This is not the wild or UFC. After I saw at a heavy dose and sped up what the reality is of these trashy and worthless non industries (I had a real job..I know what real work. I know what real activism are. Those are bullshit jobs. After all this, if this trash is normalized exceot for that pathetic venture capital crowd out of ca, this society is doomed and that is okay. But it won’t take Ol’jfz9580m with it).

And hopefully the real left (Yasha/Ketcham) like me is savvy enough to decipher this pathetic form of communication and see this information stream and these games for what they are since humans unlike bots have an understanding of these ugly minds across the board. These are ugly people. On the inside at least.

Critical thinking has been on the wane. I just find it depressing when so called left of centre people embrace those platforms or trot out that ass Haidt’s (that’s not libel! And he is in the Epstein files at least according to the version of Wikipedia I see. At the very least that justifies the label “ass”) bullshit.

I find these libel laws shackling..

Seriously though, BTS these guys are less crazy than they seem. And it is adequately clear now this is not in my head. I don’t work in groups and it is time for draconian pushback but I would have to do it.
I have never been in these things.

And I have changed. Not because of this. I attributed every real influence and they were all low tech and from books I read etc. Ed Zitron and Nathan Robinson are the only people I have only followed online.
I usually take things at face value. I don’t think 5G kills birds, but conspiratorial rot helps these sleazy, mainstream in hell gatekeepers (you will all be judged by history for what you are doing today and what you have done. Pot and now libel 🙄 laws aside, I am not worried.
I was worried. i was very worried: Now I am not.
But don’t come to me with a sobstory and don’t try to bully me again. As you sow, so shall you reap.

And don’t keep hobbling me wrt information flow either. It won’t serve you.

I told you the only response going forward..”…”.
You can gossip among yourselves. I am used to it. Ignored it all my life. I don’t even have anything lurid.
I have no interest in sex or men. It is useful in this situation as it helps to hone this:

I never understood people. They all seem so stupid except I guess Steve Chu, Yan Lecun and my mentor/2 friends in the hard sciences and Yasha/Ketcham/Nikiforuk/this one girl from my main lab..and a few others.
Idiocracy it is..