Bereavement

Last edited Sat Sep 1, 2018, 05:47 PM - Edit history (1)

After a terrible loss it is easy to put too much pressure on yourself. Take care of YOU too.

*My sister's dog just died two days ago. She was my dog first but got too big for my condo and I had to give her away. I have been very upset and everything reminds me of her...I try to take my mind off of my grief but little things keep coming up and the floodgates open all over again. My neighbor has heard me crying and gave me some of her Xanax which helps. But I have to be kind to myself and not try to do to much, scold myself for doing something and messing it up since it is hard to focus, and stop telling myself to be stronger. We each grieve in our own way. I have doggie photos and a white candle lit. I will not be going to any events where I am supposed to be happy (like a birthday party). Forcing myself to ACT happy makes me feel worse. If I sleep too much or too little, eat too much or too little, etc it is OK. Time will eventually help but that is not too comforting right now. I got a book called "How to Survive the Loss of a Love" about 20 years ago. I have "loaned" about 4 copies and never got them back. It is about all losses; the loss of a person or pet, a spouse, a family member, a job, a boy/girlfriend, etc. There are no chapters, just single pages of words of wisdom, poems, reflections and helpful/hopeful ideas since the authors know it is too difficult to focus on more than a few pages at a time. My favorite page is a chart/graph which shows how we recover after a loss. It is like a lightening bolt that goes up and down and higher up then back down a little. Over time it does go up but along the way there are the realistic setbacks that are normal and inevitable.
"Let yourself hurt. Pain naturally follows loss, and the loss of a love is no exception. Fighting the need to grieve will leave you feeling more worn out than living with your grief will do. Don't rush yourself through your grief, either."
https://www.amazon.com/Survive-Loss-Love-Peter-McWilliams/dp/0931580439
It is only $5 so not getting copies back was not a big deal. Check it out. Hang in there.