Bereavement

I'm sorry to hear of these issues.

It sounds as if they have been in the habit of scapegoating you. Not a good situation and not likely to change, imo, unless they undergo intense therapy. This s very much like dumphumpes projecting their own maladaptive behaviors onto "the libs." They cannot face their own shadow elements.

If you have any weakness and they know it, they will unconsciously attempt to "hook" their maladaptive projections onto you.

Beware if/when you refuse to accept their sick projections, as people can become quite upset and even violent.

We are here for you, dear friend.