Gone too soon at 95 1/2. My darling darling died. [View all]

My hubby died a week ago here in our bedroom, receiving hospice care, and where I could "love him up". He had Alzheimer's for nearly 10 years which took away, among so many things, his fear of death. He was and will always be my everything. We were so lucky to tell each other all the time "I love you". To which he would often respond with "Aren't we a lucky boy and girll?" ❤️

He received hospice care for 17 days. He was eating 3 meals a day for 15 days. His vitals were great until the last day. I love and am grateful to morphine in a way I never imagined. We could be together in the home we both love. Sadly the news we would watch together was nearly unbearable. So we watched his faves Monk and Seinfeld, as well as The Andy Griffith Show. And in the last week's The Weather Channel. News without watching "the news". We had visitors. The day I told him we were receiving visits from 6 relatives nearly killed me. He asked "what's the occasion?".

Today I may not get out of bed. The news is just too horrific. Family has rallied. But we have too many Trumpers to be able to talk politics anymore. This place is the only safe space for me now. DU and carefully curated, escapist streaming services. Last night John Mullaney. Saturday we had a planned pool party for family and I was able to play a PBS Great Performances video version of Alice in Wonderland he was in from 1983. It was such a a lovely way to have him present for the gathering.

I just realized it was one week ago, to the minute that I lost him. This is so hard. He was so full of life. And I'm so lucky that horrible disease didn't take away his loving personality. He was adorable and always will be. I love him so much.