I knew a "Trad Wife". [View all]

Last edited Mon Sep 30, 2024, 07:43 PM - Edit history (1)

She was my law client, and this was about 15 years ago.

She was married (obviously) and had five children in quick succession, ages 3 to 9, three girls and two boys.

Child Protection removed her children and put them in foster care. And the agency was desperately trying to terminate parental rights in order to allow adoption by the foster family.

My job was to get the kids back. As if that were the easiest part.

I discovered that she was a victim of domestic violence, and her husband controlled her physically, mentally, psychologically, and emotionally. And Child Protection first ignored that fact and denied her services for assistance. Later CP used the DV as justification to terminate her rights because she let it happen.

Her husband was a throwback Catholic, meaning Scalia and Opus Dei would be too liberal for him. He kept my client confined to the home they were renting. She and the kids only left when they had to see a doctor. He refused to let them to school, even parochial school. He was the head of the house in every way. And she gladly went along with him with no complaints.

And there's more. Not only did the husband keep my client pregnant and lactating for a decade, but he also forced himself on her sexually, including anal sex (which is used by some men for the illusion of total submission). And he hit her.

The reason they came within the radar of Child Protection was one night he strangled her. She called the police, and they arrested him. And he convinced her to drop the charges. And then he convinced her to leave the state when the investigation of the kids and the family commenced. Child Protection caught up with them and arrested him until he told them where he hid the kids.

So, I was delivered a client who was near catatonic. She could barely talk to me and to the therapist. I knew we couldn't move forward without deprogramming her. We moved her to her mother's home in another state. When she and her husband went to court, it wasn't together. I kept them separated, even preventing him from following her to the restrooms.

We had a DV hearing, and she didn't want to go to testify because she was afraid of him. We coached her enough to be in the same room with him.

I became a social worker as well as legal counsel. I got her one of the best therapists on domestic violence. My client was receptive. She filed for divorce. She got a vocational certification. She did everything the caseworker for Child Protection demanded.

And the Court returned her kids. And she and the kids have nothing to do with him since that time.

BTW, my client "won" partially because all representation was free/pro bono and I was "between jobs" at the time and could afford to dedicate all the time needed.