How do I get through this? [View all]

My problem is my hubby is decompensating faster than I expected. He's always had a horrible memory, but I'm scared to death for him. Send him to the grocery store with a list and you never know what he'll come back with. Last week he cleaned our checking and savings account by falling for a gift card scam. While I'm still trying to dig out of this hole with help from friends and my grandson, I came in today to find him on the phone to someone getting ready to change our insurance carrier. I told him, in a very loud voice, that we're NOT changing insurance people. For the first time in my life, I have an all female agency and they help me when we have issues making a payment all at once. We're on SS and a very small annuity I got when I retired. Any disposable income is spent on food for us and the cats. And then I repeated in a loud enough voice to be heard via the phone that we are NOT changing companies! Reminded him again NOT to click on any ad on the internet without checking with me first. At least he was on his way to find me when he told me what was going on. I worry now constantly about him, and I'm going through a depression (?)... I can't really call it that, I don't have the luxury of one. But I don't want to lose my husband, and I feel like I am, even with him right here. I honestly don't think this is Alzheimer's. I believe its just "normal" aging, with no help from the heavy drugs he used when he was a kid, nor electric shock treatments he had for schizophrenia when he was young.

Years ago, we split up the household duties, since my work was a lot more time-consuming than his. One of the things I left for him to do was pay the bills when they came in. At this point, we had money I'd saved up in our savings account, and he'd gotten some from mineral rights he sold. That was over a decade ago and that money's all gone. All we have is our month-to-month, and one more time like he's put me through right now I'm afraid is going to me over the edge. So, I've taken back all the bill paying (since I discovered he hadn't paid electric for 3 months), and switched just about everything to online pay. I've got a problem with one institution I've tried paying. It's happened twice in the last 6 months, although I've been paying them the same way for years and years (almost 2 decades!). They say the debit isn't honored by my bank. I finally went through paypal, and I got a "reminder" notice of the due date (that I'd just paid). I'm hoping that is crossing online payments, but between trying to get that straight and picking up the pieces hubs left me I'm bonkers. I've put us on a $180 budget until the 9th, when our SS checks get deposited. I don't get any push back from him on anything about this, he's a really sweet guy who'd give you the shirt off his back, even if it was the last one he had. And he's a feminist as much as any man can be. He's supported me as I've taken jobs paying less simply because I was female in a male's field. IOW, I love him to pieces. I'm just not ready to lose him mentally and intellectually. Our minds are what brought us together in the first place. I feel so bad for him. I may be reaching for words and now and then, but I know how much it scares me and I can readily imagine how it feels to him.

Anyone else in this situation? How are you handling it -- both for him and for yourself? I'd readily accept ideas and advice on how ya'll get along. One thing's for sure... this aging stuff isn't for the feint of heart!